Lighted Window Syndrome

lighted-window

   All my life I have had lighted window syndrome.
   Being outside someone’s window at night, and seeing the lighted window, its warm amber glow was an invitation to feel a sense of home, not to be at home, but to feel at home, and yet to remain a stranger, in a position of intimate remove.
   It was important to be near yet not in, because that left essential space for my imagination to participate, for speculation to arise. Imagination needs space to create and conjure. It understands the need for sufficient detachment, just enough neutral remove, a calculated distance. Too much and you went cold in all the wrong places, too little and you lost necessary perspective.
   Outside the lighted window I could fully engage my emotions in ways that I could not it if I were on the other side of that window, inside the house. One was a lucid dream-state, the other a state of reality, an actuality. To be inside the house meant to destroy something. Destroy what, exactly? The illusion, the ghost, the fiction. To be there and to not be there at the same time was always my goal, my dream. I suppose writing has allowed me to achieve this in a certain way.
   The lighted window—a lovely haunt, a symbol of purity, an incorruptible dream, a portal to other worlds, but mostly and always a sense of home where my spirit and mind go, and the rest of me is left behind (and happily so).
Advertisements

About John Biscello

Originally from Brooklyn, NY, writer, poet, spoken word performer, and playwright, John Biscello now lives in Taos, New Mexico. He is the author of two novels: Broken Land, a Brooklyn Tale and Raking the Dust, and a collection of stories, Freeze Tag. His fiction and poetry has appeared in: Art Times, nthposition, The Wanderlust Review, Ophelia Street, Caper, Polyphony, Dilate, Militant Roger, Chokecherries, Farmhouse, BENT, The 555 Collective, Instigator, Brass Sopaipilla, The Iconoclast, Adobe Walls, Kansas City Voices, and the Tishman Review. His blog--Notes of an Urban Stray--can be read at johnbiscello.blogspot.com. Broken Land, a Brooklyn Tale was named Underground Book Reviews 2014 Book of the Year.
This entry was posted in Prose, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s