As if Ghosts

She, as in ghosts, as in white-hot incubi with a seductive glassy not there stare, it bewitches and allures, bears melancholy freighted with scraped knees and mirror shards. There is a lucid unblinking poise, calculated reserve composed of crystal and quartz, she is not quite there, many moons removed, where is she exactly, she seems to be locked in a liminal state, between here and not there, seems to be modeling departure in a frieze, subtext becomes her in long prevailing silences, an aria fugitive and disembodied, the frigid etiquette of melancholy, beneath it all, there is a bubbling well of emotion, you can sometimes feel it in the lava-eyed flickering firing over her eyes with glaze, she doesn’t just look through you, she removes and excavates parts of me, she clinically harpoons and scoops out aspects of your interior, like chunks of grapefruit speared by a serrated spoon, this is what happens when she looks through you … she moves through, and rearranges you in the process. It is clean-seeming and silent. She doesn’t just look through me, it is as if her look makes freight and casualty of me and takes me back, way way back, to additional histories, small hours and hidden worlds unheard of, wounded throbbing seasons, she plants ghosts in me, as one would a series of revelations, and punctuated by chill they grow into echoes and wants. I would, with this look staying inside me to look me over and smolder, become bride to a lasting haunt, wedding bells on a distant shore laced with waves crashing. It was a disaster, and flirting with disaster, and skirting disaster all in one. I was in love.

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Haunt

She, as in ghosts,

the seductive glassy not-there

stare

making you long for what has passed,

or is passing—

Séance,

persuasive in its call

and touch,

a cheat code flirting with disaster,

or remnants haunting thereafter.

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Loom

In the manic solitude of invention

and bloom,

I shutter to think,

therefore I scam,

hustling room

for one’s own company

to keep you, casting,

in fuckable thrall.

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Rivet

Here,

papering over hovel origins

of wounds and silence

with words riveting on and on

and on,

dirty frayed bandages

panting staccato and weary in the wind,

yet never losing voice,

nor the canopied capacity for mime

in the manic solitude of invention.

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Scroll

Clouds,

fleecy in glaring mass–

softly, softly,

the words avail themselves

to silence in passing.

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Eyes

I could not stare into anyone’s eyes too long. It was like staring openly at the sun. The light was too much to bear. Not to mention, within the stunning field of light projected from eyes were congealed specks and motes of shame, melancholy, longing … so much more. The eyes were ports for so much more. The eyes also bear a strong form of jazz. The notes and rhythms interweave and flood my eyes looking. My eyes looking at other eyes looking at me: a dizzying and disorienting foreplay. Foreplay not as precursor to sex but rather the intimacies of childhood’s inheritance revealed in eyelock. In eyelock we meet and look away even when still looking at. We look away within. Then the eyes follow suit. Sometimes they don’t and you go deeper and foreplay leads to frictive rubbing of tenderest wounds. The eyes beacon aspects of self—hidden, remote, sublime—high-wattage, and it goes into me, a sudden jolt and subtext, and I slip 20,000 leagues under sea change and moveable dark. Once I sink, I want to keep sinking, I want to stay there. I savor the absolute dark and silence as siblings holding me, cradling me, I go aaahh quietly, I sigh and glow softly. The eyes, in their staggering catalog and source material surplus, are a lot to digest.

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Endangered

The author in me

died a lonely

long-time-ago death.

He was too singular

to adapt and stay alive

in this new-moving world

of word-species

and endangered text.

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Chronicles

What is it we’ve done? What is it you’ve done? Mark it down. Make an inventory of jottings that concretize and confirm your fleeting form of being. How did you wake? What was it like sleeping? These happenings these adventures and intrigue, these escapades, this collected litany of reflections. A record of you-doing, you-dreaming, you-reflecting-you in time. In this so-called track of time. Get off the train. Get off the tracks. Go trackless. When you begin charting what you cannot remember, what you don’t see or hear, what is unreflected … then you’ve got something. Then you’ve got a radical departure from the norm and orthodoxy of chronicles. Chronicles, as drawn from Chronos, God of Time, and Chronos enters like stunning pellets of pinched light in your memoryless chambers. Where memory does not go, Chronos settles. Chronos roots and incubates there. Chronos makes a whole lot of time out of blank spaces. Chronos feasts on the glaring blank, the digestibly appetizing dark. Time has no time for time-outs. Time is a crime waiting to be apprehended. It is a felon with a seemingly endless track record. Round and round. A felon in a whirlpool, in the suck of a magnetic vacuum. Chronicles gather our disparate pieces into something resembling an inventory. It’s all extremely limited and small-sighted … but it’s something. Something passes the time. Something after another after another … to pass the time. Yet as the old saying goes—nothing eases the passing of time, not even the passing of time.

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Monkeys

Monkeys in a dark room, the darkness reeking of lice and mold, the only light coming from the beaconing cherry glow of the cigarettes sticking out of the monkeys’ humpty-hump mouths, typewriters thrill the silence with cacophonous clacking, each and every monkey is each and every other monkey, that is they are working as hive organism, collective and creative tribe to write Hamlet, or something Hamlet-like, could be Hamnet, could be Hamlet in Oz, could be Ham on Rye, they will keep banging away on their instruments until a tinny bell rings (a jingle of a bell you might find in the opening/closing aria of a door in an old-fashioned diner), when the bell rings the monkeys will stop typing and a man wearing an oversized pinata of a parakeet head and a pearl-gray suit and dark tie will come and collect the pages, take them away to a cloistered space, sift through the material, and try to organize the fragments into Hamlet or something Hamlet-like. The monkeys never leave the room. They smoke incessantly (their supply of cigarettes endless). Their shadows have become them, and they have become other in merging with these shadows, their own and others. Several of the monkeys wear hats, but that’s neither here nor there. They wear hats because it gives them a sense of time, place, fashion, and it goes with the typewriters and cigarettes. These monkeys only exist, it seems, because people keep asking—Did you hear the one about monkeys in a room producing Hamlet on typewriters? Some theoretical speculations, when lasting and repeatable, grow limbs, fur, and theoretical offspring closely resembling their parents blank faces.

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Slow Burn

Slow burn opens us up to possibilities. It is a birthing method. Slow burn brings with it the feels and the feels sets off vibrato trembles in our bones and deepdown. We bugleforth blessings. A long sentence begets slow burn. Nights dreaming of other nights equates to slow burn. That girl from childhood, that jelly-floating avatar of innocence and ouch … slow burn. Slow burn can give you the keys to both arson and fire-channeling. Arson is when you are amateur, immature, out of control, or have not yet developed control. Fire-channeling is on the road to mastery. It is when the Fool and the Magician merge hospitably and fluently.

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