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In the bluest breath

of want

we are

ghosts haunting

our own lives

possessed by the mutable

shadows of cinema.

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Freight Blues

In the bluest breath of want,

pooling to unseemly levels,

making beggars of desire’s

taste for excess,

we run on

and on,

riveted to freight

and laboring conundrum.

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Flicker

In the longaching cinema of memory,

the gauzy calling and want of ghosts,

exponentially the veiled sum

of fading and pulse.

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As if Ghosts

She, as in ghosts, as in white-hot incubi with a seductive glassy not there stare, it bewitches and allures, bears melancholy freighted with scraped knees and mirror shards. There is a lucid unblinking poise, calculated reserve composed of crystal and quartz, she is not quite there, many moons removed, where is she exactly, she seems to be locked in a liminal state, between here and not there, seems to be modeling departure in a frieze, subtext becomes her in long prevailing silences, an aria fugitive and disembodied, the frigid etiquette of melancholy, beneath it all, there is a bubbling well of emotion, you can sometimes feel it in the lava-eyed flickering firing over her eyes with glaze, she doesn’t just look through you, she removes and excavates parts of me, she clinically harpoons and scoops out aspects of your interior, like chunks of grapefruit speared by a serrated spoon, this is what happens when she looks through you … she moves through, and rearranges you in the process. It is clean-seeming and silent. She doesn’t just look through me, it is as if her look makes freight and casualty of me and takes me back, way way back, to additional histories, small hours and hidden worlds unheard of, wounded throbbing seasons, she plants ghosts in me, as one would a series of revelations, and punctuated by chill they grow into echoes and wants. I would, with this look staying inside me to look me over and smolder, become bride to a lasting haunt, wedding bells on a distant shore laced with waves crashing. It was a disaster, and flirting with disaster, and skirting disaster all in one. I was in love.

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Haunt

She, as in ghosts,

the seductive glassy not-there

stare

making you long for what has passed,

or is passing—

Séance,

persuasive in its call

and touch,

a cheat code flirting with disaster,

or remnants haunting thereafter.

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Loom

In the manic solitude of invention

and bloom,

I shutter to think,

therefore I scam,

hustling room

for one’s own company

to keep you, casting,

in fuckable thrall.

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Rivet

Here,

papering over hovel origins

of wounds and silence

with words riveting on and on

and on,

dirty frayed bandages

panting staccato and weary in the wind,

yet never losing voice,

nor the canopied capacity for mime

in the manic solitude of invention.

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Scroll

Clouds,

fleecy in glaring mass–

softly, softly,

the words avail themselves

to silence in passing.

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Eyes

I could not stare into anyone’s eyes too long. It was like staring openly at the sun. The light was too much to bear. Not to mention, within the stunning field of light projected from eyes were congealed specks and motes of shame, melancholy, longing … so much more. The eyes were ports for so much more. The eyes also bear a strong form of jazz. The notes and rhythms interweave and flood my eyes looking. My eyes looking at other eyes looking at me: a dizzying and disorienting foreplay. Foreplay not as precursor to sex but rather the intimacies of childhood’s inheritance revealed in eyelock. In eyelock we meet and look away even when still looking at. We look away within. Then the eyes follow suit. Sometimes they don’t and you go deeper and foreplay leads to frictive rubbing of tenderest wounds. The eyes beacon aspects of self—hidden, remote, sublime—high-wattage, and it goes into me, a sudden jolt and subtext, and I slip 20,000 leagues under sea change and moveable dark. Once I sink, I want to keep sinking, I want to stay there. I savor the absolute dark and silence as siblings holding me, cradling me, I go aaahh quietly, I sigh and glow softly. The eyes, in their staggering catalog and source material surplus, are a lot to digest.

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Endangered

The author in me

died a lonely

long-time-ago death.

He was too singular

to adapt and stay alive

in this new-moving world

of word-species

and endangered text.

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