Somewhere

You don’t know
where the nights go,
what apparitions
with monstrous appetites
do the swallowing.
It is a mystery,
soundless, unsigned.
But what remained
in the whorish glare
of daytime
were all the undigested bits,
the flesh creeping
with prickly beads
of sun
like scabs baked
in magma
and hazy unremembered
regret.

#8 from Untitled Film Poems
Image by Cindy Sherman
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Cocktail Mixer

It wasn’t her house,

her nightgown, her anything.

And the old woman

in the sun hat

snoring like a phlegmatic breeze—

Who was she?

Existential hangovers

are the worst,

she thought to herself,

as she tried to piece together

hazy fragments

that she hoped would clarify

and amount to a life

resembling her own.

#7 from Untitled Film Poems

Image by Cindy Sherman

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As Above

Consider the script–
Girl, unmade by past trauma,
sees angels, and cedes.

#6 from Untitled Film Poems
Image by Cindy Sherman
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Missive

Letter from Wonderland–
Dear Miss So-and-So,
Your husband injured himself
chasing a young girl
in fuzzy pink rabbit ears
down a dark narrow hole.
Do not expect him home
any time soon.
Yours Truly,
A Secret Admirer.
 
#5 from Untitled Film Poems
Image by Cindy Sherman 
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The Replacement

The course couldn’t be changed,

same as the sounds

coming from the other side

of the door,

which belonged to her broken-in

replacement.

She waited,

for something to stop,

or perhaps to knock

and show that the next move

was truly hers to make.

#4 from Untitled Film Poems

Image by Cindy Sherman

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Soap Drama

She thought about it
at least once
every night.
What it would be like
if he wasn’t there,
if she, with delicate blankness
befitting a housewife,
mixed his cocktail in a new way
a different way, just once,
then watched him slip
into an absence
that didn’t require faith
or tending.

#3 in the Untitled Film Poems series
Image by Cindy Sherman
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Enigma

Rapt fascination–
when the enigmatic
meets the readily apparent
in an effort
to fashion and sustain
identity
from the lore
of diminishing returns.
 
#2 in the Untitled Film Poems series
Image by Cindy Sherman

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Legacy

After watching
the bruised legacy of her childhood
pass her by
out of the corner of her eye,
she had developed
an astigmatism
which, in effect,
bred her glaring suspicion
of distance,
and violent need of its diffuse
edges.
 
#1 in the Untitled Film Poems series
Image by Cindy Sherman
 
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The Writing Life

These are the tools of my trade. I have written in spiral-bound notebooks, college-ruled, for a long time. They are always of varying colors. Red, yellow, blue, purple, black. Never green. I write with a Zebra F-402 ballpoint pen, black ink. The work is written in longhand, in the notebooks, before it is typed onto the computer. The sound of a pen scratching against a page is one of my favorite sounds. One of those beautiful, lonely sounds that goes in deep. No matter what is written inside these notebooks, I always title them “Sketches/Impressions,” in black Sharpie. I have filled hundreds of these notebooks over the years, and keep them stored in plastic bins. I consider it a record of my spiritual longing here on earth. I am a fan and practioner of ritual, especially of my own making. My love affair with writing began when I was a young boy in Brooklyn, and has never stopped. I am grateful for this calling. One day I will be dead and gone, poof. But know that I was here, for a little while. And I gave everything I could to writing. Know that you are here for a little while. Do what you love. Your heart will rejoice.

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In Search of Lost Time

A meditation on memory, longing, storytelling and spiritual homesickness.

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