Lovesong for Self

 

It became a goal,
soul-mate to my own damned self—
Nerves on the first date.
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Coil

To caper at the edge,
where the seething lyric
happens, poetry with slits
and fast teeth,
where the hours of phenomena
are boiled and reduced
to a single quivering instant,
an umbilical knot
of light
upon tenderest scraps
and coils.
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After Party

She, Lazarus,
back from the dead,
with a musical vengeance—
A beat, Christ, please,
she asks of her martyred D.J.,
half-light, half-man,
and out climbs her voice, grinding
through rubble, a dark velvet toy
wound up for centuries, released,
on behalf of every last blue girl, unannounced,
notes from underground
unfurling a cortege of white ribbons,
grace lost
now found
among trespasses.

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(Image by Heather Ross)
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Immigration Laws

We are
immigrants in our own skin,
flash-fire refugees
who get by with falsified papers,
fake IDs, and forged signatures.
If caught and found guilty
of a trespass
or transgression,
we pardon ourselves
in our native tongues,
language a placeholder
for the names
we were forced
to annul.

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(Image by Heather Ross)
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Claim for the Meek

I do not want to see
the face of God.
I want to see her mask,
where
and for whom it cracked,
the causal history of lines and fissures;
want to trace,
with blind mute innocence,
the light quartered and drawn
in Braille, its grooves holding,
without strain or regret,
Mercy’s hidden inheritance.

noc

(Image by Heather Ross)
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Sylvia Plath

To be a mother, and to double as a dark sorceress, a cleaver of dried bones, could not have been easy. Especially in the 1950s. They burned witches then, as well as reds and blacks and faggots, and other things that didn’t fit the paradigmatic slant. It was a time of burning, though televisions were new, and lawns were green and sprinklered, and men chewed cud while shaving their second faces. Also, they burned witches way back when, and now too, it seems witch-hunts belong to some fraternal order of treason, some moose club with crooked antlers, who knows.
You wrote poems. No, you fevered them. Red-hot blues, peppered shards of black. You held bits of the moon hostage, or she you. You mooned for the world, a she-wolf’s strip-tease, straight to the bone, and also, also there was your death’s head vaudeville act, juggling scythes, gargling ram’s blood and spitting it back out as flames that burned skyward, charring the fluffed bellies of clouds.
Alchemy, vaudeville, burlesque, spells brightening hollowed veins and inflaming corpuscles, spells animating petrified, rotting limbs, Lady Lazarus with a sideways grin, you did it it all, Miss Plath, and still had time to make dinner. Still took care of the kids.
Doing all these things while crossing the River Styx on a paper boat must not have been easy. But the poems, papered heartbeats, glistening with sap and resin, as if torn directly from dream-womb, and left behind for us to ponder, digest, fill our bathtubs with and swim in.
Your silver, vagabond, winterkissed drops,
pressed between the margins of an unyielding sea, will not be forgotten,
for the moon holds the tides accountable for all its parceled beauty.

sylvia I

 

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Anne Sexton

It begins with a stopwatch, and a glass of water.
The stopwatch belonged to her father, or to her father’s father.
The glass of water is a joke. Imagine trying to remedy
all that desert within, all that scabbing red sand blown, with a single glass of water.
No, Anne, your dry heaves ran deep, your mirages coercions
shivering like wet sheets of plasma. The eye could only see so far,
the confessions could only cart you a dash further than the eye’s migration,
and where you left off, you began to teeter, and veer, to gag on green wind.
In the fairy tale, you were the witch, with seaweed for hair, and the daughter,
the red-hooded little girl with a broken stopwatch functioning as a false talisman:
time was not on your side, it climbed all over you and clung
like co-dependent parasites on parade, and you writhed in agony,
cried out for your father, before lying down and falling asleep on the forest-bed of pines.
When you awoke, the world was white, new-white, clean-white, too-clean-white,
scary-glaring,
and there was the blurred transit of hands, hooks, smocks, scrubs, operating instructions,
soft voices like slippered footsteps on carpeted stairs,
a mounting turban of verdigris bandages.
None of it made sense. You did the best you could, you stood up,
you sat down, you confessed, as if every word was a grain of sand spitballed
into the eye of Eternity, you crafted a swimming hole in your desert
and brought lovers there to soak with you.
The sun kept on, as did time, wind, pills, angels,
you sang through your wounds, daily,
your typewriter a pet from heaven, which you ribbon-fed scaly bits of hell.
It went on, and on, until it didn’t, the angels scattering all at once,
or perhaps reshuffling to gather and lift you up.
It ends with a stopwatch, locked in a drawer,
and an empty glass, where water
once touched lips.

Sexton_3

 

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John Fante

Inferiority might have been your first memory.
Though you were born on American soil,
Denver, CO, April 8th, 1909,
the chinked chains of immigration
had you by the throat and bowels, pinched your nerves
as you butted your head against the scabby base of a totem pole.
You, the little wop, the fenced-in dago, trying to dig his way
to China, or the moon, or to any form of greatness
that would eclipse your undermining complexes.
And so, out of shame and need, out of fevered desire,
you created Bandini, or he you.
Arturo Bandini, rising star and literary godsend
of John Fante’s complicated inner world,
soon to be exported and appraised and adored
by thousands, maybe more.
Arturo Bandini would draw from your history
and chagrin—your philandering, boozing, gambling father,
your mother, having to beg credit to keep the family fed,
your fear and loathing of Jesus,
and love-hate relations with the saints,
all of it would fuel Bandini’s quest
to transcend your blues,
your gnawing sense of lesser-than.
You would become the Joe Dimaggio of the literary world,
the gold-plated pride and joy of your people,
or at least go down swinging.
Bandini, fire in his belly, lean days of determination,
a starved mongrel digesting the pit and seeds
and citrus rinds and sun-tendered leaves
of palm trees in 1930s L.A., an angry, confused, passionate
young man, stalking fury and sound, full of himself
and words that he prayed to God would not let him down.
He, John Fante, the great Arturo Bandini, gave us pages,
a score of scorched pages, not enough according to him
(he would go on to become a Hollywood screenwriter
and malign himself as the worst kind of traitor to his soul and calling)
but he left behind the Bandini Quartet, four novels
with his grit-infused masterpiece, Ask the Dust, forming its apex.
Some angry young men mellow with age,
Fante, it seems, raged until the end.
His legs, and sight, were claimed by diabetes,
and Fante, as a blind amputee, bed-ridden, took one last dive
and salutary fling into the inspired world of Bandini,
dictating his final novel, Dreams from Bunker Hill, to his wife, Joyce.
Bukowski, who had accidentally stumbled upon Fante’s work,
considered him a god.
The two would become friends, and Bukowki would do his part
to resurrect Fante for a new generation.
It seems, after all, that Bandini, upon a cross,
grinning, scowling, dreaming of words
and how to arrange them according to gospel,
had amounted to a scarring glint
upon so much favored dust.

fante

 

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Moon Shots

From “Houses of a Crystal Muse” (Wild Embers Press), poetic collaboration/conversation with Antoinette Nora Claypoole. Coming December 2019.

crystal muse

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Galactic Bulb

Teaser poem from the upcoming collection, Houses of a Crystal Muse (Wild Embers Press), an astro-poetic collaboration/dialogue with Antoniette Nora Claypoole. Featuring images by Issa De Nicola and Anthony Distefano. 75540030_10158944902407619_5546266534055247872_o
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