Tramps

It has become hymnal. The lasting proof. The lusting after the lasting proof the music. This is not proust. Then again everything is proust because everyone in search of lost time cycling through guises manias assassins guesses all the rest. Blessed be the alchemy of our gist our lore. We the cause the effect with hymns seeding. On the ninth day everyone revolted realizing there wasn’t gonna be a tenth. In truth no days at all no edges so everyone went on as is. And went on going on. From the pinched nipples of clouds we received this pearl this chance glisten To cherish to bless is all. We held that in store in our chests. The lot of us trespassers fools tramps. From the grainy past from the sourced cinema of our graves the image of the ringleader the anointed one with the too tight calico vest crooked bowtie torn baggy trousers spindly joints dustcaked bowler clipped stache the one deathless in the annals of burlesque. The camera followed him as it does us. The camera hissing like snakes in rapture like rain pelting slats. The camera’s sleepless eye of many minds conjuring all at once. Perpetuity of simultaneities the cause the effect. The camera our deadly ally our fiend. We must remain hymnal in our creed. The camera doesn’t want our words. The only time our tramp idols spoke was when he sang otherwise nonsense otherwise mute and ambling onward with pluck and vim.

Painting by Van Gogh

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Found Lost

We recall fondly. We recollect. The good old days in which we titled windmills redolently and rode clanging dusty boxcars across the glaring horizontal spread of america. What a lay we said hitching up our pants sticking our peckers into every gopher hole and indian eardrum we could wrestle or manage. The good old days an unrolling panoramic canvas of america painted over with screaming reds graying blues mudpacked browns other colors running together like luxuries found lost. We posed as stiff hipped sheriffs marshaling laws to frontiers unexplored my god we were real artists then painting with the light just right to conceal any shadows creeping unwanted across borders. From beyond history I sit here now in this abandoned boxcar a tramp with torn baggy trousers too tight calico vest dustcaked bowler writing songs no one will ever sing or listen to but that’s fine just fine. A train trackless running outside of time is concerned solely with mythology. Mythology in this case being the preset moment expended upon infinitely within the mantling of lore.

Photograph by Josef Sudek

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Watchword

Grief lies here like an insomniac pining for sleep. Like scissors running dull to the touch of fate. We paper over grief its ruins and brittle slates with hordes of torn pages. Forget me nots band aids christ sporting a porn stache. In this romance worn down to plots of kitsch. With words amassing to memorialize to clarify the haul of plague doctors wandering roadsides barking Bring out yer dead Bring our yer dead. Ten pages twenty thirty. Nothing novel here. The words both deed and barrow to the bones. We give graves to our young. Our candles rage mirages that merge with fall winds. Beneath the shadow of all things moving we incubate. We are sworn to the word to worlds unseen because the rules of the game assure us that paper covers rock. Grief an insomniac attending its own coma nightly. From near distances we keep close watch.

Installation by Yoko Ono

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Nocturne

In not so many words I found my wanting voice warming and calling out to you almost. It was going to say things about blues and greens I think in relation to the sea in relation to your eyes. I might’ve gone there or somewhere near to there if I would’ve kept going. Instead I turned around remembering that beyond description lay not so many words not so many words echoing as kissing cousin to silence. So silence then. So let’s say within silence I kept quiet with words circling hawklike everywhere and I said nothing in so many different ways it was incredible. Because as you know against the raging clamor of silence all phenomena pales when it is your eyes holding my voice hostage.

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Give Us This Day

Everything always going on. People worry about everything not going on but what they’re really saying beneath the waves what they’re subliminally saying and worrying about is them not going on. Everything going on and them not. How to reconcile I not continuing I said and gone. If it feels like the world if ending it is because you are ending. Individual endings magnified to worlds ending. Autumn is a sonata. A soft lisping grave for lost hours. Fall falling is the sense you have when mortality grows magnificently yellow inside you a wistful flare and you ending becomes elegy scaled. Notations at the edge inform you that you will be ending and you ending becomes all ending everything ending. Every generation spells doom differently yet the same. One of the older meanings of apocalypse was revelation. We waiting to be revealed to ourselves as apocalypses unto ourselves. In the dust of lost blue hours we grow silent. As if practicing to be dead. Then we talk and come back to life and the cycle renews with us wondering about everything always going on and everything ending and what is there to do except cherish and bless.

Photo by Josef Sudek

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Belfry

Make the small your domain. Your belfry for lost hours. Within the small words gather to tremble to sublimate to keep solitude company. Also they become cinema in which you are watching words gather to keep solitude company that being the plot you being the watched watching. You wait for the words to become the monologue you will speak you listen to it forming on your lips here it comes—Solitude is the circus from which everyone runs. It is also the nexus toward which all is drawn. You look at the mouth moving and can’t say if you agree or disagree with what it has said but no matter what you think how you feel the voice continues—Solitude is near to god. The lost hours are near to nothing. Between the solitude of near to god and lost hours near to nothing there is a place a space in which you can place yourself. Make the small your domain.

The monologue ends. The film reel if there had been any hisses flaps a snake swallowing a baby bird. You notice you are now near to fading and this gets you wondering about god and solitude and lost hours and when the wondering ends what then.   

Photo by Man Ray

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In the Dark

In the dark I tell myself stories cycling through different guises different spells and guesses to sublimate an existential itch I cannot scratch. In batches the words arrive wingless like immigrants from distant shores. I go there hungover from daily bread to kiss them to issue intimate welcomes. The words gather to form a title aligning a cause Homecoming for Exiles. In the shadows of the words growing nearer to me I suddenly realize I am speechless. I don’t know what or how to say. A silence soul killing not golden. A fuzzy glowing one presently unformed that one day may grow up to become wisteria or adagio flickers and softly lisps Chill the fuck out. I bow down before this wise word this buddha fleabite of lyrical say so. The words a harem of fireflies each light an ember christlike in its fault and burn. In the dark in sync with tiniest flares I tell myself stories carried along by tides and furies of telling to only god knows where or why this longing.

Artwork by Cy Twombly

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Partitions

It has been called this mortal longing and we have all hailed there all ached there swearing. Between lisping partitions of rain we seek phantom threads blue gray promising to guide us down unmarked roads to deepening distances. Seeking being the side effect to breathing to nostalgia for living. There is no cause only risk. Only want within rain falling to christen to cherish our defenseless fade.

Photo by Brassai

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Here There Be Dream Tigers

Here we are hooded in shadows with tigers green fire eyes lighting up new seasons. Tigers green fire eyes the forests of emeralds burning of bedazzlement and jade bewitching. We enter calmly at our own risk. We heard that one of us once lay down with a green fire tiger nuzzling cheek to cheek fur to skin. We suspect that this person’s action was dictated from on high. A call of longing at the mercy of greater symmetries. What happened to that person who lay down with the green fire tiger? No one knows. There are stories. The boy lay down with the tiger nuzzled the tiger for a long time then stopped nuzzling and that is the end of the story. Or the tiger opened wide its green fire eyes wider still and burned the boy into dust into legend. Or the tiger swallowed the boy headfirst. We are not sure if the boy is a boy or if the boy is a girl or man or woman. All we know and eve this we don’t know is that there was a tiger of the green fire kind in a forest with no name of fabled origins. Green fire tigers roam there. If you dream one you’ll know it. We have dreamed many. If one ever speaks to you this means you’ll be leaving the world you’re in. The rare speech of the green fire tiger is a carrier inevitable in its capacity to transport. To hear the green fire tiger speak to you directly is to feel your eyes burn as if an entire forest inside your head is burning down to the ground to clear space for miraculous nuptials to spawn.  

Mark Rothko “Green and Maroon”

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The Unseen

We lie here in fields dreaming unseen and fondle ourselves forgetting ourselves. In intermittent flashes elegies come as summons as reminders advertising what it was like to be human whenever that was. What was it like to be human the commonest refrain one voice trailing after another then the next amassing a cortege. Each voice every voice carries within it seeds from great distances. None of us can be seen. Presences felt stirrings resonances in waves of voices drifting veiling overlapping. The waves accumulate tidal asking in white roars and muted grays What was it like to be human. None of us can recollect. Continuity of selves long gone we carry on as messengers allied to moving distances repeating again and again What was it like to be human echoing the call of every and all.

Image by Heather Ross

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